Ronon vs The Easter Bunny
by SafiraMajika
Summary: Easter in Atlantis can be a little dangerous.


While he didn't know what time it was exactly, Ronon knew that the door to his quarters had just opened. He knew that beyond a shadow of a doubt. And just coming into his quarters unannounced was not the wisest thing to do.

Barely opening his eyes, Ronon made out an odd shape in the darkness. Whoever had just come in was tall, taller than anyone he'd seen in Atlantis. He shifted slightly so he could open one eye and get a better look at the intruder.

He got a better look and nearly opened both eyes completely. _"What is that?" _he wondered, staring at the bright pink backside of the intruder. He moved carefully, not wanting to spook the intruder by making noise. As he raised up into a sitting position, he saw that the thing was bent over and he could hear a slight rasping sound.

As it straightened, he rolled off the bed and went straight for the intruder. His shoulder struck it in the middle of the back and there was a sharp cry of surprise and pain. They both went down and Ronon quickly retrieved his knife from under his pillow.

The big pink intruder rolled onto its back and he stopped short of putting his knife to its throat. While it was indeed large and pink, it had Maj. Lorne's face.

"For Chrissake, Ronon, it's me. Maj. Lorne!" it cried out and his eyes narrowed. How did he know for certain that it really was? The door to his quarters opened and he jumped to his feet.

"What the hell is going on in here, Lorne? Can't you deliver something quietly?" Sheppard demanded as Lorne struggled to his feet. A basket lay on the floor, its contents scattered.

"I thought he was an intruder," Ronon explained haltingly, watching as the major dusted himself off and attempted to straighten the long ears of his pink bunny suit.

"I told you it wasn't a good idea, sir," Lorne commented as he looked at the basket on the floor. "Great! Now I'm going to have Teyla on my case," he muttered and started picking everything up and putting it back in the basket. Then, he set it on the table and looked at Ronon. "Happy Easter," he snapped as he marched past Sheppard, his little white tail twitching with each step.

"Easter? You mean that Earth holiday with the rabbit, the eggs and the candy?" Ronon asked, narrowing his eyes.

Sheppard nodded. "Yes. Teyla was supposed to explain it to you."

"She did. But I thought it was supposed to be for children?" he replied, going over to the table and sifting through the basket of goodies.

"Yeah, but adults don't mind it. I guess maybe I should have given you a little warning," Sheppard admitted with a slight smile.

"Probably. It would have helped a lot," Ronon told him, smiling as he held up a foil-covered egg.

"So that's where the Cadbury eggs went," Sheppard mused and then shook himself. "Like Lorne said, Happy Easter, Ronon."

"You too," the Satedan said as Sheppard left his quarters. He wanted to see what else was in the basket.

Maj. Lorne was waiting for him in the corridor, one long pink ear hopelessly bent and hanging down the side of his head.

"Sir, request permission to speak freely?" he said as Sheppard stopped in front of him.

"Go ahead," Sheppard sighed.

"Next year, Teyla has to deliver Ronon's basket herself, sir. I don't think I can handle being attacked again," Lorne began but Sheppard held up a hand.

"Are you telling me that you can't handle him?"

"In the field, I can handle him but in this suit, I'm just going to get my ass kicked," the major answered, repeatedly brushing aside the pink ear.

Sheppard smiled. "Okay, next year, you don't have to deliver anything to Ronon. Just make sure that no one finds out that Ronon took down the Easter Bunny. If word gets back to Earth, we'll never hear the end of it. Good night, Major," he told Lorne and headed down the corridor to deliver his own Easter surprise to Elizabeth.

As he watched his commanding officer walk away, Lorne muttered, "I don't have to worry about the people back on Earth finding out. As soon as the personnel here find out, my life's going to be hell."

With that, he stomped down the corridor in the opposite direction of Sheppard. He still had three baskets to deliver.

FIN


End file.
